


desperation and gin

by rxginamills



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: :(, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Underworld, Villains, You are welcome, cruella and ursula are my favorite angsty girlfriends, i don't know what this is but i wanted to write about them, i love them together and as individuals, i love these two, oh well, otp, sorry that it's ooc tho, the finishing result is okay??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-28 04:42:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16716790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxginamills/pseuds/rxginamills
Summary: She remained silent, waiting for Ursula to speak. Cruella desired to know if she had changed; if she had changed her tentacles for a tail, if she had dyed her hair or once more become the princess she used to be. She could only know so much through a phone call. At least she sounded the same, and it was the only voice Cruella could stand listening to.Or: The Underworld's a bitch and Cruella just wants to see Ursula and drink gin.





	desperation and gin

Cruella swirled the glass of whiskey in her hand, watching the bronze liquid move on the bottom of it in a circular pattern. Watching the movement of the pathetic excuse for a drink was her best distraction at the moment, and that in itself was very upsetting. Nothing was happening in the Underworld, nothing moved in a way that differed from the regular. It was blatantly exhausting to live in a place like that, where death was the only life given to you and it was a curse you could not move away from; not forward and certainly not back. You were always stuck in the middle.

"Cruella, my dear, you're giving off the energy that you're not enjoying your drink." 

The Blind Witch stood behind the counter at Underbrooke Diner, a location in the Underworld that strongly resembled Granny's Diner back in the real world. Cruella pushed the glass towards the witch.

"Can you blame me? This whiskey's garbage."

The witch sighed, "I get it, you miss your gin - "

"Damn right I miss my gin!"

" - but this whiskey is the best we have. Deal with it."

Cruella rolled her eyes and then sunk her head in her hands. She thrived on action, she thrived on bloodthirst and she thrived on her favorite alcoholic beverage. She was stripped of all those things upon her arrival in the Underworld. There was nothing in the world that she wanted more than freedom from this ghastly place. She wanted back in the world of the living. 

Being alive was so much more fun than being dead and chained to the Underworld. The real world had music to hear, shameless amounts of gin to consume and people to see. 

Cruella gritted her teeth together and poured the rest of the poor-tasting whiskey down her throat, instantly regretting the decision. After Ursula had left with her sea king of a father, life had been so much more boring. Maleficent was irrelevant to her, and what happened to that half-dragon child of hers was something she didn't bother to concern herself with.

Rumplestiltskin, however, was a man of glory who bathed in all things evil, and Cruella felt very drawn to the power he had. He was ruthless, unapologetic and willing to go to extreme measures to get what he wanted. To some people Rumple could have been outright terrifying, but Cruella didn't fear him. Fearlessness was in her blood and it was impossible for her to hate someone so intriguing. 

Ursula was the greatest mystery out of the three. Cruella had always been attracted to her; to the way she carried herself, to the unyielding strength she had, to the ice that ran in her veins when she gave one look in Killian Jones' direction. Ursula's trials of life had made her a villain and even if it wasn't what she wanted, she excelled at it. What had Cruella on her knees was the way her eyes glistened when she spoke, the way her gentle hand brushed Cruella's thigh and the way she smirked whenever they were about to cause chaos. Ursula was the perfect villain, and after that she was simply perfect. 

Then appeared Emma Swan, the Saviour and the darling daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. It was her fault that Cruella was down there in the Underworld, but that wasn't what was most miserable about it. It was that Ursula had never come after her, not _once_ had Cruella heard from her after her death. It was conflicting to think about, to say the least. On one hand it was a relief that Ursula had not shown up yet, because it meant that she lived, but on the other hand it could've meant that she didn't care, that she had taken dear old dad's arm and left for the world in the sea without looking back, ignoring everything she and Cruella used to have.

"Cruella,"

The witch's voice shook Cruella out of her thoughts. She looked up at her to notice that she was smirking devilishly.

"We have visitors."

Cruella spun around on her stool and feigned a gasp. In front of her stood no other than Snow White and her prince. Cruella put a hand on her chest in mock shock and approached the two of them.

"Oh my," she breathed, "What have we here? Who must I congratulate for finally doing away with the two of you?" 

Snow smiled dryly, "My apologies, but we're not dead." 

Cruella choked. Snow and Charming were alive and in the Underworld. It was an impossible equation. They had found a way in, and it meant that there was a way out.

"So what are you doing here, then?" Cruella asked curiously.

"We're searching for Hook. Have you seen him?" asked Charming.

"Oh, the surprisingly attractive one-handed pirate? Can't say we have." 

Snow sneered, "Are you lying to us, Cruella?"

"No, darling, I couldn't care less about that man."

"Not even after what he did to Ursula?" 

Cruella glared at Charming with fire in her eyes. Although Cruella favoured the woman Ursula had become through her dark path, she had still been wronged. When Cruella had first seen Hook in Storybrooke she had wanted to wring his neck into a pretzel. Then Ursula left and Cruella died and she stopped caring about what happened to him. Frankly, hearing that he had joined the Underworld brought her delight. 

And now Charming was standing in front of her, bringing out the wound, waking up her inner fury.

"Get out of here." Cruella whispered. Snow and Charming left quickly without uttering a word. Once the door closed, Cruella grabbed the empty whiskey glass and threw it against the wall, smashing it into little pieces. 

"Goodness, that pirate gets you worked up, doesn't he?" the Blind Witch asked curiously. 

"Not him," Cruella snapped, "Ursula."

The witch raised a brow, "Ursula? The sea witch whom you claim to love?"

Cruella was growing angrier by the minute, "I'm a villain."

"That doesn't mean you're incapable of love."

"I don't love Ursula!" Cruella yelled, "She left me here in this red-tinted world that's driving me insane and now I'm going to give that slippery little squid a piece of my mind!"

Cruella stormed out of the diner and straight to the nearest phone booth. Her mind was clouded by anger and desperation. She wasn't even sure if Ursula was in a location where she had access to a phone. All Cruella knew was that the phone let her communicate with the living world. She typed in a number and held the phone so tightly that she thought she'd break it.

The silence was unbearable, it was worse than hearing a voice, any voice from the other side. Cruella kicked the wall of the booth twice. Suddenly someone spoke up.

" _Hello? Who's this?_ "

Cruella felt her heart skip a beat or two. She couldn't seem to get any words to come out of her mouth, because she knew exactly who had spoken. it sounded like she was right next to Cruella, the way it used to be.

"Ursula?" Cruella questioned.

" _Cruella?_ " 

Ursula sounded shocked. 

" _Cruella, is that - is that you?_ "

"It's me, darling," Cruella answered, "Miss me?"

" _H - how, how is this possible? You died!_ "

"I'm surprised you remember." Cruella's voice was dripping with anger. 

" _Are you kidding? Of course I remember, I think I spent about an hour wrecking the nearest port when I got the news._ "

"So you say you care but when it comes to taking action and getting me out of here you do _nothing_." Cruella snarled. 

" _Wh - How was I supposed to get you out of there if I didn't know where you are? I **still** don't know where you are! I thought you were dead, as in dead-and-buried-in-the-ground dead!_"

Cruella could envision the look on Ursula's face so vividly when she listened to her yell in her ear. It was painfully similar to the time when they were still together, both still alive. Cruella rolled her eyes at the tone of her voice. 

"I am in this quaint little suburb called the Underworld." 

" _The Under-what? The hell is that?_ " 

Cruella laughed, "Tell me about it. It's a delightful place where the dead are never free and apparently the living can waltz in like they're regular inhabitants."

" _So it's where the dead go?_ "

"Correct."

" _And you want to leave?_ "

"Well, aren't you clever."

" _Good luck with that._ "

Cruella's eyes widened, "Wh - No - Ursula, you idiot! I called you because I'm angry at you, and because I need help." 

" _That's new coming from you. I thought Cruella De Vil didn't need anyone._ " 

"I don't. But you're different." 

" _How so?_ "

Cruella's patience was ending. She never spoke to anyone like this, it was not who she was, and being something she was not made her uncomfortable. Ursula had always been different from the rest, but Cruella felt nauseous just at the thought of saying it out loud. It was so repulsing that she had lied to the Blind Witch about it, because it was better than admitting that there was something she valued more than murder, and that it came in the form of the sea witch.

She remained silent, waiting for Ursula to speak. Cruella desired to know if she had changed; if she had changed her tentacles for a tail, if she had dyed her hair or once more become the princess she used to be. She could only know so much through a phone call. At least she sounded the same, and it was the only voice Cruella could stand listening to.

" _Alright, well, hang tight,_ " Ursula's voice reappeared, sounding confident, " _cause I'm coming after you._ "

"Truly?"

" _Yeah, I mean… the Underworld sounds like a shit place and the world of the living is no fun without you._ " 

Cruella smirked, "But darling, you don't even know how to get here."

" _I'll figure something out._ "

"I'm sure you will. Oh, and remind me to punch you in the face when you get here! You have a lot to make up for."

" _Shut up._ "

Cruella ended the phone call and stepped out of the booth victoriously. She looked around herself at the diabolical town and felt incredibly satisfied that she would soon get to leave it behind because her Ursula - oh surely she was _her_ Ursula by now, after everything - was coming to drag her the hell out of that wretched place. She would no longer have to drink the god-awful whiskey or listen to the whining of people who surely deserved their fate if they were stuck down there with her. 

"So you _do_ care about Ursula."

It was the witch again, and suddenly Cruella was immeasurably tired of her.

"Her company surely beats yours." she snapped, adjusting her fur so that it sat elegantly on her shoulders.

"I find it strange how adamant you are about going back to Ursula when I just saw you a few days ago with that chew toy of yours, James." 

Cruella laughed incredulously, "You genuinely believe he and Ursula are of same value to me, how adorable. Darling, it's like you said; James is just a toy. Ursula and I are partners in crime." 

The witch smirked, and even in her grey-covered unseeing eyes Cruella could see a flame, "Or more than that."

"How fortunate for me that it's none of your business." Cruella said and then left the witch alone. She had no interest in continuing the conversation with a nosey blind woman who found entertainment in other people's personal lives and crappy alcohol. 

 

* * *

 

Waiting for Ursula make her way to the Underworld without death as her entrance ticket was positively tiresome. The minute Cruella had heard Ursula announce that she was bailing her out, every part of the Underworld from the tallest clocktower to the smallest pebble had become unbearable to look at. Cruella was utterly tired of the Underworld and she couldn't wait to exit.

Cruella knew it wouldn’t take long before she ran into Snow and Charming again, and indeed she did, at the town centre. They had their daughter with them and Cruella’s anger flared up noticeably.

”Emma Swan,” she breathed with disgust, looking at the Saviour down her nose, ”And here I was hoping to run into the woman who killed me.”

”Funny, I was hoping  _not_  to see you.”

”You and I have some unfinished business to take care of.” said Cruella angrily. 

”If you wanna be sent to a place much worse than this dump then hit me up, I’ve got time,” Emma threatened, raising her hands up in front of her to start conjuring magic. Cruella laughed at her.

"What a shame that I've got somewhere to go, I was so looking forward to returning your favour and killing you on the spot — "

"Watch it, Cruella!" hissed Snow, stepping slightly in front of Emma, "That's my daughter you're talking about." 

Cruella smirked wickedly. She stood in front of Snow, unfazed and confident. It only seemed like the thrill of provoking a hero excited her even more. She could already envision a little clash taking place; a protective mother versus a dead woman seeking justice. It would all end with Cruella's victory, of course.

Cruella scoffed, "Oh please, as if you were able to protect your daughter if I got my way with her."

Snow grabbed her bow and pointed the sharp arrow at Cruella, "Wanna try me?"

"Stop talking."

A foreign voice joined their conversation from somewhere behind the group of four. Cruella turned around and grinned as wide as the Chesire Cat as she noticed the new arrival. Ursula stood there, in all her glory, almost like she had never left.

"You're gonna give me a headache." Ursula said, glaring at Cruella and the heroes. 

"Finally, darling!" exclaimed Cruella, "Took you long enough."

She strutted up to Ursula, taking in her presence from head to toe. She was intimidating and it was amazing. Back in Storybrooke Ursula was the softest one out of the trio of her, Cruella and Maleficent but it didn't take away from the fact that she was malicious and not to be messed with. 

"Ursula, what are you doing here? Who killed you?" asked Emma.

"I'm not dead, Saviour, and based on the look on Cruella's face neither are you." 

"Why are you in the Underworld?" Charming asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. 

"What does it look like? I'm bailing Cruella's sociopath ass out of this miserable place. Come on, let's get in the car and go."

Snow frowned, "What - you can't just - wait!"

By the time the Charmings had processed everything that happened Cruella and Ursula were already in the car. Truthfully Cruella had no idea where she was driving, but she relied on Ursula for instructions. The reality of her situation was setting in when she and Ursula sat in silence. They were in that car together, just like it used to be, and both of them had a lot to say.

"How _did_ you get here?" Cruella asked after a moment. Ursula chuckled.

"C'mon, Hades is my uncle, I was almost invited inside. I told him that I'd strangle him with all my tentacles if he didn't let me retrieve the woman I love and suddenly the doors were wide open. I'm pretty badass, intimidating the god of death like that, but it means that you and I also have a ticket out of here."

Ursula didn't notice that Cruella's face had gone whiter than her hair. She stared at the road in front of her in order not to crash the car into a ditch, for the first time with nothing to say. Cruella De Vil was rarely rendered speechless, but she couldn't seem to get a word out of her mouth. She had never felt more un-villain-like. It was petrifying.

"Come again?" she choked out. Ursula groaned.

"Don't make me say it again."

"But you said that I'm… that I'm… you know," Cruella felt the words stick to her throat. _The woman you love_. The words brought positive emotions with them, but Cruella had no clue how to be happy; taking happiness away from others was all she had ever known, and so what Ursula said grossed her out too.

"I know what I said, and I meant it. And you? Am I that to you, perhaps?" Ursula said confidently. 

They sat in silence again, staring at the grey, never-changing road. Cruella was gripping the steering wheel like her life depended on it. Ursula was starting to smile in a teasing way. Spending time with her father had began to soften her, and Cruella decided that it was the reason Ursula had less trouble speaking about love than she did.

"Cruella?"

"We're disgusting." Cruella said through gritted teeth, causing Ursula to burst into laughter.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed, "I knew you'd feel the same way, ha! Oh, we're so gross."

"Absolutely horrendous."

"Inexplicably atrocious."

Cruella raised a brow at that, "Good one, darling."

Ursula grinned, "I can take it one step further: we're like the Charmings."

Loud yelling broke out in the car. Cruella's face was red all over, "Oh no, God no! Take that back!"

"Relax, we're nothing like them. I'm not sure if it's even possible for two human beings to be that nauseating." Ursula explained. 

Cruella's posture relaxed. She had no idea what had just happened between her and the sea witch, but she hated to think that the Blind Witch had been right. Ursula guided her to a few rights, lefts and roundabouts like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Cruella was content. Ursula would get her out of the Underworld and together they'd get to do what they did best: wreak havoc. 

"You haven't punched me yet, by the way." commented Ursula. Cruella smirked. 

"Oh, there's still time for that, don't you worry. It's going to happen. But first I need to get out of this abominable place and find some actually decent gin! It feels like I haven't had a good drink in centuries." 

Ursula shook her head knowingly, "I hate you."

"I know." 


End file.
